20.07.2011 - 21.07.2011
Well I’m in a bit of tricky situation. And just when I could use some (temporary) accommodation not too far away too….
Denis the milkman wanted a proper relationship. I did not see that coming.
Right place, right time, just wrong guy.
We 'dated' for a short while then parted on good terms but he told me 2 days later he found someone else to help in on the farm for the week his helper goes on holidays. I dare say I’m not wanted there anymore so that’s the end of that. There goes a friend and some semblance I had of my own life.
But the Big Issue...
Last night N & F had another chat with me about the new situation. Basically I have finished as their au pair, they say I’m welcome to stay until my already planned intermittent travels finish early October but wanted to know what my plans were in the meantime and after. I was caught completely off-guard, thinking that after my last talk to Nadine we had agreed it was fine to stay until October anyway and help out around the house. It seems now she’s after more detailed plans of whether I would look for work and exactly what I would be prepared to do in return for my board. Her demeanour has changed since the beginning and it is a definite ‘we don’t really want you here but because you have plans you can stay, and we don’t want money from you but what can you do for us in return for our outlandish generosity in allowing you to live here, in the sticks from now on without a car or phone.’
This along with the payment of my wages 2 weeks late, without reimbursement for 1 and half tanks of petrol I have put in their car. (Actually 2, but I had forgotten at the time and figured I would just wear it). Well I was not at all happy about that, and being one who avoids confrontational situations I had to summon all my courage to explain I thought that was very unfair, given I had paid for a tank in the car that I used to run the kids around, plus refilled their other car after using it to pick up and drop off my parents at the airport in May. They seemed to think I was using it during the day for my own purpose more than I was. Even though my belief was that using the car locally for myself was expected and fine, I was very careful not to venture far or often away from the house so that I couldn’t later be accused of taking advantage.
That was one of a few things I feel was offered and promised at the beginning by them and never followed through. Plus it has become evident that Nadine has a tendency to make things sound fine beforehand but then make me feel guilty afterwards. Up until the conversation of last night she makes it sound more than fine and as if I’m wanted at the house beyond being their au pair, but her actions speak very differently, now she wants to know what I will offer in return.
So i can stay at the house (well if i continue to do some things like cleaning for them) but i've decided i don't want to. And would rather leave on relatively good terms while possible.
I feel like I have gone from being treated and feeling like a family member to being treated as a stranger at a hotel. Luckily between now and Sept I’m away for almost 3 weeks all up and will see family in England. But I need to make plans quick smart to find somewhere else to live in between because I don’t really want to be in Laives anymore and I don’t think I’m quite finished with France yet. I had decided to come for at least a year and while I might not make that I’m not quite ready to go back to Perth, not until I have more purpose and direction as to what I’ll do when I get back. (I will look into cheese-making courses – I think that’s a possible career path and France is an ideal place to start).
I do wonder how i might feels after my travels in Sept/Oct travels finish. I might just be done with Europe then.
Right now I’m happy - on the train to Nice to be with some friends for a week. It couldn’t come soon enough!